Worship Wednesday- All I Have Is Christ

It was an overcast day, late in October 2017. I shambled into my office at church, still in shock from what I had just heard. My wife of 13 years had fallen in love with someone else. How could this happen? What had I done wrong? Why? What? How... My mind was spinning, my heart was starting to numb, and I needed to find some solid ground.

I made my way into the sanctuary and sat down with my old friend, the piano. I needed to sing, to talk with the Lord, to emotionally find release in a way that only music can provide, and hopefully find some peace.

I didn't know I was within a few weeks of my final time leading worship. I didn't know that soon I would be asked to resign. I didn't know just how many friends would fall away. I didn't know the pain of the loneliness I would feel or the fog of depression I would fall into. I didn't know about the bi-polar disorder that affected my wife. I didn't know divorce would be in my future. I didn't know just how long I would have to wait, living with seemingly unanswered prayer. I didn't know the sin that would be revealed in my own heart and the refining God needed to do in me. But one thing I did know, and still do. All I have, all I need, is Christ.

I opened my music file, and at the top of the list was this song. The first song I sang to the Lord, the first song He led me to, was All I Have is Christ. I made it through the first verse before I had to let my fingers take the melodic lead. The tears freely flowed as the Lord began to heal my heart. I was a lost sinner, hell-bound, blind, indifferent to the Lord, and yet He saved me! He sent His Son to die for me, despite the betrayal in my own heart. What a gracious God! Yes, the road ahead was uncertain, but because of Jesus everything that mattered was certain. My eternal home was secure. My needs would be met. My loving Father wouldn't abandon me. Even if all my securities were to fall away, I would be okay, because I had Christ. Little did I know just how much my faith would be tested.

In the coming weeks and months I'll elaborate a bit on what God has done and continues to do. I hope the pieces of my story shine the light on God's faithfulness and bring some encouragement. Music is such a gift from the Lord, and I am so thankful for the many artists out there whom God has equipped to put truth to song, enriching my affections, and bringing me closer to Him.

Perhaps 2018 was a particularly trying time for you. Maybe you've gone through your own Job-like experience for no apparent reason. Maybe difficult times have come as a result of sinful decisions. Often we don't know why God brings us into the valley, and sometimes it seems like the valley is really a deep chasm with no way out. One truth that must anchor our soul is that Jesus is enough. If we lose the job, the spouse, close friends, or even our church, we still have Jesus. Everything we hold dear can fall away, but He still remains. Sometimes we need to sing that chorus of "Hallelujah, all I have is Christ" to remind ourselves of this, even if we don't feel like we have the faith to truly believe He is enough.

Over this year I hope the songs that encourage me encourage whoever may read these posts. I certainly need to be reminded of them. Sometimes things may be raw, or mispelled, or have too many commas,, but that's what blogs are for, right? I hope in some small way this may fulfill 2 Corinthians 1:3-5-

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too."

May you find comfort, as I have, through these gifts of song.

All I Have Is Christ
by Jordan Kauflin | Sovereign Grace Music

I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
O Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You

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