Enriched Affections

These past few weeks I've been wrestling with loneliness. It's been a difficult transition; moving from having someone to talk to about everything to... well, to sharing that with a journal, and maybe a few highlights for my friends. The huge positive is that I talk a lot more with God. I know He's always known me, but I'm feeling like we're communicating better, and more often, than I ever have in the past. However, the loneliness still remains. I know I'm not alone in this life situation. My mother-in-law (how does that work now?) who will always be my second Mom lost her husband several years ago, and I know she's wrestled with this. I have friends who have been single all their lives, seemingly content with their friends and their God, but go through seasons of doubt and discouragement all the same. I know others who have lost a spouse through death or divorce. Still others who simply feel alone even within their marriage and outwardly perfect life. ...

This has been a crazy week. Since my previous post I've had the opportunity to reconnect with so many old friends that have reached out to me. I've been so encouraged by your comments and messages. You would think this feeling of community would energize and motivate me, but the reality is I've been dealing with depression again for a little over a month.* I think it's getting better. Maybe it's all the rain or difficult circumstances. I don't know. Having gone through this before I'm seeing the same old signs, but dealing with it very differently. I think you know you're depressed when you can watch How to Train Your Dragon 2 with your kids and almost start crying when you see Hiccup and Astrid talking... just talking. The mind starts to wander... Will I ever have someone like that again? It sure would be nice to have someone, just to talk to about everyday life, the future, silly goals, a funny thing that happened while flying on your dragon. Of co...